The Heartfelt Reason You Should Write Your Own Wedding Vows

My husband and I wrote our own wedding vows, and those words were the very heart of what made our ceremony feel so special — and so very us. Of course, there are plenty of ways to add a personal touch to your big day, and traditional vows can be just as meaningful, but in my experience, written vows were the right choice.

So how, exactly, did we go about writing the words we'd share with each other during one of the most important days of our lives, in front of all the people we love? Well, we each approached it differently. As a writer, I planned ahead, and a few months before our wedding, I started a note on my phone so that I could add and edit words as they came to me. I knew from the beginning that I wanted my vows to read like a poem, the rhythm of the words just as important as the words themselves. A few things I kept in mind as I wrote were:

While I planned, my husband "let his thoughts marinate" in the weeks leading up to our wedding, putting pen to paper just days before we said "I do" because he wanted to pull from the intense feelings that are inevitable in that last week. Somehow, in those final days, he managed to memorize every word, and the exchange of our vows is my most cherished memory from my most special day.

It had been overcast throughout the morning, and that afternoon, in a true movie-like moment, the clouds finally parted when the officiant told us it was time for the vows. I went first, and as I spoke, Radley couldn't even smile, his lips pressed together to keep from crying. But the best moment of the day was all his, because as soon as I finished saying my vows, he turned to our friends and family, saying, "This isn't fair. She's a writer!" Everyone cracked up, including me, and it made the whole ceremony feel so perfectly casual. Even better? He went on to absolutely nail it, sharing such sweet, sincere words that even my most cool, collected friends ended up crying.

Our written vows are in frames that hang in our bedroom, a daily reminder of how and why we love each other. Here are the words I said that day, the ones I live and love by: