8 Goals For the Newly Divorced Woman in Her 20s

Being in your 20s and divorced is rarer than being in your 30s and 40s and divorced. This may make you feel alone and a bit damaged as compared to your single or married friends, but you need to kick those feelings to the curb in 2016 because they're NOT true!

First, acknowledge your feelings of shame and regret by writing them down. When you're all "Dear Diary"-ed out, read them and then tear the paper up, hit delete, or set the list to fire! (Just be careful if you choose the last option.) You are not damaged. You took a chance on love early on. Perhaps you are very mature for your age. Perhaps you're a romantic. Perhaps — many reasons. There is nothing wrong with failing at love at any age! And just think — now you have many years to find the right one.

You're in your 20s. The world is your oyster, my darlings. Take up a list of things you haven't done yet and create that to-do list of your dreams. Include grad school. Include that trip to Europe. Include that pole-dancing class you were intrigued by. Don't worry — there are no judgments here, girlfriend! Most likely you are not a mom — yet. (If you are, turn to goal number three.) So enjoy this single and uninhibited time of your life. Take the divorce as a sign to romance yourself and achieve everything on that to-do list before you ever say "I do" again!

Are you a young divorced mom? Take heed in the fact that you will have plenty of energy to run around after your kids, and by the time they're in high school, you'll still be young enough to enjoy the nights when they're not with you!

Make a goal of stepping away from dating and putting time into either your career or schooling, if you haven't finished yet. Dating is going nowhere! Besides, you'll want an older man or a more mature guy who can be good around your kids at some point. For now, make one goal toward your career or schooling. Let the rest of it roll off your back. You have many new adjustments to make as a single mom.

Don't rush out to Netflix and chill with anyone. Instead, take some time to consider your marriage. Why was it important for you to commit? What did the marriage offer you? What is it you want differently the next time around? Take this time to live up life with your girlfriends and wait six months before getting on Bumble or Tinder. Divorcing in your 20s means you'll be growing up a bit before your friends, and that's OK. In fact, take the self-reflection time to enjoy who you will become after this divorce.

Lord, I was a bridesmaid about three times before getting married, and so I advise you: be the bridesmaid! And in your 20s — toward the end — your friends will start to marry in spades. By the time everyone is 30, the marriages will be in full effect! Be the adviser to your newly married friend. Might it hurt? Yes, but impart your wisdom and be there to cheer your friend on as she walks down the aisle. Your divorce is not a failure but a life lesson, and you will love again! Bask in your friend's happiness the way you would want her to bask in yours.

The older I get, the more skeptical and worried I become. Go on an exotic vacation that you have always dreamed about. Have a passionate love affair while you're there. Leave the country and never speak to the person again! Do things you thought you were too timid to do, because, guess what? You're not!

Young women are socialized to say yes and be people pleasers. Learn to say no. Learn to say uncomfortable things that matter to you. Getting a pair of "balls" in your 20s will make for an extremely successful career- and love-themed 30s. Men respect women who respect themselves. Master the art of standing your ground young. It's a harder lesson to learn as you get older. Trust me!

If you're dating and people seem shocked you're young and divorced, screw them! Not literally! Just say you had a young love and learned. That you regret nothing. If someone judges you because of a divorce, they won't make for a very good love partner long-term. You need someone who understands where you have been and who you will become.

The year 2016 is going to be yours. You're beautiful, vibrant, and learning — a powerful concoction of a woman! Hold your head high and learn from your mistakes. The bravest of us always do.